If you give a mouse a cookie...

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie
By: Laura Joffe Numeroff

If you give a mouse a cookie,
he's going to ask for a glass of milk.

When you give him the milk, he'll probably ask you for a straw.
When he's finished, he'll ask for a napkin.

Then he will want to look in a mirror
to make sure he doesn't have a milk mustache.
When he looks in the mirror,
he might notice his hair needs a trim.
So he will probably ask for a pair of scissors.

When he's finished giving himself a trim,
he'll want a broom to sweep up.
He might get carried away and sweep
every room in the house. He may even end up
washing the floors as well!

When he's done, he'll probably want to take a nap.
You will have to fix a little box for him
with a blanket and pillow. He'll crawl in, make himself comfortable
and fluff the pillow a few times.

He'll probably ask you to read him a story.
So you'll read him one from one of your books,
and he'll ask to see the pictures.
When he looks at the pictures, he'll get so excited
he'll want to draw one of his own.
He'll ask for paper and crayons.

He'll draw a picture. When the picture is finished,
he'll want to sign his name with a pen.

Then he'll want to hang his picture on your refrigerator.
Which means he will need...
scotch tape.

He'll hang up his drawing and stand back to look at it.
Looking at the refrigerator will remind him that he's thirsty so...
he'll ask for a glass of milk.

And chances are if he asks for a glass of milk,
he's going to want a cookie to go with it.


...............................................................................................................


If You Give a Mouse an Entry Point
By: Vanessa Lynn Waters

If you give a mouse an entry point,
he's going to come inside.

When he gets inside, he'll probably find it warm.
Once he's found it warm, he'll decide to stay.

Then he will want to run around,
to make sure he likes his new home.
When he decides he likes it,
he might notice there are snacks to eat.
So he will probably try to eat your dog's food.

When he's finished munching leftover dog food,
 he'll want a nice couch to hide under.
He'll start running.
He might get carried away and run around
every room in the house. He may even end up
in the basement as well!

When he's done, he'll probably want to take a nap.
He will probably choose the couch, or the dog's bed,
or even your bed. He'll crawl in, make himself comfortable
and fluff the pillow a few times.

He'll probably expect you to leave the light off.
So, you turn the light on, and walk into the living room,
and he'll wake up. When he sees you, he'll be so frightened,
he'll want to run away. He'll run across the living room floor.

He'll run down the basement stairs.
When he's done running, he'll find a new hiding spot.

Then you'll chase him around, and he will be scared.
Which means he will need...
to go outside to get away.

He'll run around the yard, and be very cold.
Looking around, he'll want to come inside.

And chances are if he wants to come inside,
he's going to find an entry point.

This is how Stephen found Anya and I
when he came home from work: hiding
from the mouse on the coffee table.

Love,
Vanessa, Stephen, Anya, and Horaldo, the mouse.

twentyfive

In completely unrelated news, and completely unrelated to this post...we're currently sitting on the couch listening to Gustav Holst's The Planets, Jupiter: The Bringing of Jollity and Anya is dreaming on the recliner very loudly. I wonder if she's dreaming jolly things. 

STEPHEN turns twenty-five years old today. Here's the difference in our thinking: Stephen thinks the most significant part of this birthday is that his insurance rates go down. I think the most significant part is that he's been alive for a quarter of a century. It seems so grandiose and spectacular.

However, Stephen's not one for making a big hullabaloo about birthday celebrations, so we're getting together with a few friends and eating a checkerboard cake (have no fear, I'll post pictures post-cake-baking). Saturday, we at ate Smoking Guns, which is a world famous (being on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives constitutes as world famous, right?) BBQ joint here in KC. Stephen's mom had a brilliant idea that we should eat at all the places around Kansas City that have been on Food Network. So we can check that one off the list. It was delicious, too. (Which you don't have to take my word for it, just check out all the trophies and ribbons they've won)

Sunday, we went with my parents to take Megan back to college (she came home this weekend for the first time in almost a month). We made a family trip out of it and ate at Heroes (best onion rings and long islands ever) on Pine Street. It was, naturally, delicious. Then we came home, at some of dad's excellent cookies, and watched the Chiefs lose to the Raiders (lame sauce).

I hope Stephen's having a good birthday weekend. (He assures me he is - no dry-walling involved!)

Twenty-five.

It's hard for me to imagine, what with the mere twenty-two and a half (the half is very important) years I've put under my belt, what it's like to be alive for a quarter of a century. If Stephen were money, he'd be a quarter. Wonder if he'd be a state quarter or a commodity quarter, or just a regular run-of-the-mill quarter. A state quarter probably thinks it's better than regular quarters because people collect it, so I don't think that's quite Stephen's personality. Some commodity, rare, limited time quarter (like you see on those weird infomercials) would most definitely have a personality problem. I mean, talk about snotty and thinking highly of yourself. So I guess that makes Stephen a run-of-the-mill quarter. But before you start getting upset and say that I'm making Stephen out to be a nobody, listen to my reasoning:

A "run-of-the-mill-every-day" quarter isn't just a flat little coin that's lost in the couch. I mean, it might be, but I'd equivocate that to some worthless couch potato guy that does nothing with his life. Definitely not Stephen. A quarter can be anything. It starts out polished and shiny, untouched. It can be put used to buy candy, or soda, or crackers. It can be saved up and used to buy a car, a house, or an engagement ring. It could be used to pay for breakfast at McDonalds, or dinner at Piropos. Or it can be used to pay for car insurance. It can be given to charity, sent to a poor country to feed someone else. It can be given to someone sick to make them better. It can even be welded onto some wire to make the face of a metal ballerina. And by then, maybe that quarter doesn't look so sharp anymore. It might be tarnished, blackened, or even bent in places. But, maybe someday someone polishes it up and places it in between two plastic sleeves and a cardboard frame to be kept clean and and in good condition: a valuable memory of what money "used" to look like. A token of a bygone era (just ask my dad, he collects all sorts of coins).

My Stephen is ridiculously talented at fixing things (everything, from computers, to houses, to jewelry, to cars, to food, to...well...everything. We haven't yet found something he can't fix), he is kind and compassionate, and very intelligent. So while maybe sometimes he seems a bit tarnished (even to himself), just like a "run-of-a-mill" quarter - it doesn't show what's on the inside - or where the quarter has been or what great things it's done, or the awesome things it's still going to do.

25 Things We All Love About Stephen:

1. His talking skills - everyone loves to talk with him (even strangers).

2. His ability to fix our cars.

3. His weird love-affair with James.

4. His ridiculous Garmin work stories.

5. His work ethic (good grief that boy works hard).

6. His ALWAYS well-timed jokes.

7. His seemingly endless knowledge about everything.

8. How great he looks in argyle.

9. His mad recording skills.

10. How well he takes care of his mom.

11. His loyalty.

12. His cooking skills.

13. His weird man-love with all of his boyfriends. I know you guys love him.

14. His ability to be mature.

15. His ability to be immature.

16. His funny voices and impressions.

17. His willingness to help with anything, and everything.

18. How excited he gets about food.

19. How intimidating he was in high school as lead bass drum.

20. His mad timpani skills.

21. His ability to fix all of our broken electronics.

22. His shit-eating grin (sorry - that's what he calls it when other people smile like that).

23. His awesome dance moves.

24. His goofy nature.

25. The sideburns.

That was probably the easiest list I've ever made. :)

Happy Quarter-Century-Anniversary-of-Birth, Stephen!

Probably the best picture of Stephen ever. 

Love,

Vanessa and Anya

If I had a Golden Drachma...

Today I read the most fantastic book: "The Lost Hero" by Rick Riordan. He's been creeping up on my list of favorite authors, and after reading his newest publication, I have to say, I think he's topped the list as the author I respect most. Here are my reasons why:

- His books captivate the reader (generally speaking, because they all do this) by engaging them in a believable scenario with characters that are very, very real.

-He knows his stuff. This man has written an entire series on Greek Mythology, is currently working on a series about Egyptian Mythology, and on a series that is incorporating Greek and Roman Mythology together. That is a lot of gods, goddesses, and monsters to remember. And he utilizes them all. It's astounding.

-He's currently writing TWO young adult series. Every spring (starting last spring) he's releasing a book in The Kane Chronicles (the Egyptian series), and every fall (starting last week) he's releasing a book in The Heroes of Olympus Series (The Greek/Roman-I'm assuming? series), for presumably the next five years. Talk about a demanding work ethic.

-The impressive and complicated way that "The Lost Hero" was set up. Every two chapters the point of view would switch narrator, starting with Jason, then Piper, then Leo, continuing in that order, throughout the entire novel, always keeping up with the story, never overlapping, and always providing the perfect side of the story to keep it logical and progressive. Not to mention, the story began and ended with the same character, and it was so logical. That just really impresses me.

-His characters are unbelievable, or rather, super-believable. The heroes (Percy, Annabeth, Jason, Piper, and at least 50 more) are so believable and well-rounded. They're all so individual and realistic. They are completely believable characters, which is the most important aspect of a character. Anyone can relate to the way they think and process their dilemmas.

-And lastly, my favorite reason for liking Rick Riordan: he's very into helping kids read. This includes tons of teaching material on his website. After reading "Percy Jackson and the Olympians," I thought, "Wow, this would be great to use in the classroom with "The Odyssey." And low and behold, there on Rick's website, a whole section dedicated to helping teachers do just that. Awesome. He also recently discussed how to get dyslexic and ADHD kids to read, because apparently that's how the whole Percy Jackson series started, as a way to get his son interested in reading (after all, the main traits of a demigod are ADHD and dyslexia).


So, for those of you still reading (and not completely bored by my obsessive-love for this author), I thought I'd provide you with a list of some of my favorite pieces of literature. Some of them I like because they're entertaining, some of them because they're great "gateway books" (books that get people interested in reading), some of them are guilty pleasures (books that, as an English teacher, I totally shouldn't enjoy), and some are not even books. But it's all great literature (just in case you decide to get off the computer and do some reading!)

Vanessa's Non-Comprehensive, Random-Order List of Fantastic Things You Should Read

• Harry Potter - J.K. Rowling (fantasy series)
• The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins (science-fiction series)
• Percy Jackson and The Olympians - Rick Riordan (fantasy series)
• The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan (fantasy series)
• Twilight (just Twilight, not the series) - Stephenie Meyer (fiction novel)
• Public Enemies - Bryan Burrough (non-fiction novel)
• The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera (fiction novel)
• The Inferno, from The Divine Comedy - Dante Alighieri (classical literature)
• The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock - T.S. Elliot (poem)
• The Red Wheelbarrow - William Carlos Williams (poem)
• The Miller's Tale, from The Canterbury Tales - Geoffrey Chaucer (short story)
• Our Lady Peace - Mark van Doren (poem)
• Devil in the White City - Erik Larson
• The Song of the Lionness - Tamora Pierce (fantasy series)
• The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien (fantasy series)
• The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky (fiction novel)
• Pride and Prejudice and Zombies - Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith (fiction novel)
• And Then There Were None - Agatha Christie (fiction novel)
• The Giver - Lois Lowry (fiction novel)
• A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket (series)
• Holes - Louis Sachar (fiction novel)
• Freak The Mighty - Rodman Philbrick
• To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (fiction novle)
• In Cold Blood - Truman Capote (non-fiction novel)
• Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger (fiction novel)

That's probably a longer list than any of you cared to skim. But, it's reading. It's what I do, and I feel that if someone can get half of what I did out of any of those pieces, then it would be worthwhile to them. So there you are, some of the greatest things I've ever read that I think other people should read. Happy Tuesday! 

Love,

Vanessa, Stephen, and Anya (although the latter two don't read...)


P.S. If I did have a Golden Drachma, I'd probably Isis-Message Percy and hang out at Camp Half-Blood. But, since I'm not a demigod, they probably wouldn't let me in, so then I'd spend it on lots of books. 

buffalo for brunch.

A day in the life of...



...a Substitute Teacher...


can be summed up in one word: exhausting.

But for your entertainment, I'll elaborate. In August I subbed for my supervising teacher from student teaching, Dorell. That was fairly easy, since it was English. This week I subbed for one of the History teachers. I taught 9th grade Geography and 11th grade U.S. History. Turns out teaching is teaching, but it's a little more difficult when you know just about as much as the students do (and oftentimes, less).  I did have one student ask me, "do you have to know a lot about all the subjects to be a sub?" And I said, "I sure hope not, or I'm out of a job." They laughed. But I was serious. Luckily for me, I know the teacher I was subbing for, and he gave me the textbooks beforehand to read. Otherwise I would not have known that the only river contained entirely on a mountain in the United States is the Little River in Alabama. Nor would I have known that the Canadian city with the highest population is Toronto (although, it's Canada, so the answer was either Toronto or Vancouver, right?).

As frustrating as some of the students can be, and as much extra homework as I had to assign today (and as much as I'm hoping he collects it, or else I'm in big trouble the next time I sub), it's not too hard to stand back and look at the funny moments and realize how great teaching can be. For instance:


While looking up terms on the Wild West, one student asked, "So if his name is Sitting Bull, in the glossary is it listed as Bull, Sitting?"  The look on his face? Priceless. His jaw dropped open as soon as the words left his mouth, followed quickly by hurried apologies. Too funny.

Student A: "Does anyone know who Little Crow is?"
Student B: "Probably the son of Big Crow."

Buffalo were defined as: "big, furry animals that Indians killed for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and sometimes brunch."


Continuing with the theme of the Wild West, the students were writing dime novels (western novels once sold cheaply in dime stores) as an assignment and had a hard time coming up with ideas of what to write about (probably because they refused to read the chapter on the time period), and insisted they could re-write the plot to the movie "Back to the Future: Part 3." The English teacher in me was frustrated at their lack of creativity and willingness to do work, while the nerd in me was tickled pink by the fact that they, too, were thinking of "Back to the Future: Part 3" while learning about the Wild West. I mean, everyone thinks of a flying DeLorean and Michael J. Fox when hearing about cowboys and indians? Right? (Remember the scene when Marty arrives in 1885 and gets chased by Indians? Classic!)


I also got called "Madam," which was both mortifying and hilarious.


And, as much as I love my family name, Rao, I have to admit, my new name gets lots of funny nicknames from the students, ranging from MW2, Mrs. H20, and according to them, my gangster name, EM DuB. Goofy freshman. Guess we'll just have to wait till next time I sub to see what goofy stuff they say next. Now, it's time for a nap.




Love,
Vanessa, Stephen, and Anya